


I will live on somewhere else

by Twykad



Series: Angsty shots [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Death, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Flash Fic, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, I'm not doing well recently so..., M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, huh, short & sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 00:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12144420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twykad/pseuds/Twykad
Summary: "It is really ridiculous, Clary thinks as she presses the wound on her stomach, blood dropping heavily on the concrete, how hard it is to move."





	I will live on somewhere else

    It is really ridiculous, Clary thinks as she presses the wound on her stomach, blood dropping heavily on the concrete, how hard it is to move. She is sure she is limping and she doesn’t even know how she does manage to walk. Everything hurt and the world is spinning. She stumbles, almost falls, and has to lean against a wall. She coughs and feels blood bubbling up on her mouth. How is she still standing? How are her legs still holding her?

    She needs to call someone, Jace or Isabelle… Magnus, but she is afraid that if she stops holding her stomach the blood will escape her body even faster and she won’t be able to breathe long enough for them to rescue her. And every movement is painful, so painful and she just wants it to stop. It’s unbearable.

    Clary wants to laugh at herself for being glamoured. Because no one can notice her, no one can help her. And her stele is at Simon’s, forgotten. She is so stupid. She wants to cry, maybe she is, she can’t tell. Everything seems is confusing right now, except the distress and the ache running through her body.

    She will not die, not like that, it’s stupid. She doesn’t want to die; she still has so much to do, the mortal cup and soul sword to find, so much laugh to have… So much love to live… This can’t be the end. She isn’t far now, she can reach the Institute in time. She has to. She just doesn’t want to die. It can’t be her time.

    She can see the Institute by now but it seems so far, unreachable and she lets a sob. Blood is running down from her mouth to her chin and she has already forgotten what it feels not to have its metallic taste in her throat.

    Clary shakes her head, fighting the white spots invading her vision. She won’t give up. Not now. She is almost there. Only a few meters left. Her breathe is uneven and her legs are wobbling under her weight but she can do it, she has to. She has been so strong, many other would already be dead but she isn’t. Clary doesn’t want to die and her heart beats so fast, so hard against her ribs.

 

    Only a few steps now. She is there. She will do it and she will survive. Clary smiles for an instant through the pain and relief. But the white spots are there again and her legs give up on her. Her phone flies from her jacket, just a bit away from her. If she’s stretch her arms enough she could reach it. And so she tries, tears streaming on her cheeks and blood pooling around her. 

 

    It’s unfair, Clary thinks, it’s so unfair. She can’t even say goodbye, she can’t even say Jace how much she loved him even when she learnt he is her brother. And how much she loves him even more now. They were supposed to take time for each others tonight. They were supposed to have a date, a simple mundane date. And Jace was so excited habout it, and she was so happy about it.  


    She isn’t going to have the time to tell Alec how glad she is they became friends, and how much she care about him even if their friendship is still new. She will never be able to tell him how happy she is for him and Magnus.

    Magnus… Clary wishes he knows how thankful she is and how much he means to her. How he always find a way to make everyone feel better and how proud she is to have a friend like him. That he really is one of the best person she has ever met. One of the kindest too. And how much he deserves the best of what the world can offer.  


 

    It’s so unfair. She doesn’t deserve it.

 

    And Simon… She can’t leave him behind… He who is always there for her, her rock. His rock. Does he know he is the person she loves the most in the world? Does he even realise? She never has deserve him. He is too good, too precious. But she could never be away from him. Ever.

    And Isabelle… Izzy who will never know how she has felt about her, all her affection and how everything they had had was real. It was always real. Clary wishes she could tell her.

 

    Just an inch. A last inch and Clary begs. She begs, she prays for the Angel or for God, she doesn’t know anymore, to let her have this. But everything feels so numb now, and she is cold, and her eyelids are so heavy and she is tired, so tired.

 

    And scared, so scared.

 

And alone, so alone.

 

    And just like that, the world turns to black. 


End file.
